


Held Together With Nothingness

by ERNest



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 23:29:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15896331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERNest/pseuds/ERNest
Summary: "Is this all just some kind ofjoketo you?" Magnus had been so angry, or maybe just disappointed.Taako runs and reflects and returns.





	Held Together With Nothingness

**Author's Note:**

> This story started when I got to thinking about the McElroy's excellent character development, from not exactly taking their characters or the campaign seriously, to getting _extremely_ emotionally attached to them, and I wanted to explore that space when they hadn't quite figured it out yet.
> 
> This takes place about a month before the beginning of Crystal Kingdom.

     “ _Is this all just some kind of_   **joke** _to you?_ ”

    Even running as hard and as fast as he could, footfalls pounding in his ears, Taako couldn’t stop hearing the question. It shouldn’t matter, it _didn’t_  matter, and he shook his head to dislodge the memory of their fight. Magnus had been so angry, or maybe just disappointed, which was worse. Even now Taako wanted to scream from the injustice of it.

     Didn’t Magnus _get_  it? It had to be a joke for any of this to be bearable. He’d started out with nothing until he found a way to food, which in turn let him remain useful to the people around him. And then he’d lost the cooking too. It would be hilarious if it happened to anybody else, so he pretended there was some other Taako from TV whose plight he could mock whenever he felt down.

     But life moved on and so did he, so in adventuring he figured he’d found his niche. Cool toys, enemies to fell with witty one liners, and plenty of stuff to steal along the way – yep, it was pretty sweet digs. Still, it did nothing for the nights he was woken by a twisting sensation in his chest, or the memories that made him dizzy to examine. The good only balanced out the bad when he let himself take joy in the equation.

     So yes, he laughed and sparkled and sizzled it up. He acted like nothing mattered because nothing did, so who was _Magnus_  to take that away from him?

     Taako rounded the final corner of his route and flopped onto the Great Lawn. The grass on the moonbase was still the best grass, but even after six months up here, he couldn’t quite get used to how the ground felt beneath his feet. Like most things in life it didn’t really bother him – except sometimes he did. But if he had nothing else going for him, he was adaptable.

     Maybe he was just antsy for their next outing – Taako was good out here but he was _better_  when he was out there making things happen.

     It couldn’t be loneliness; he’d made it most of his life on his own and didn’t need other people. Or, okay. He stuck around with the other two idiots because they were useful. Having a tank to absorb all the big hits was useful, travelling with a walking talking Zone of Truth was useful, joking around with his buds was – well, look. Look, an improved quality of life meant a longer life, so goofs were a valuable resource. Life was all one big game but that didn’t make it unimportant.

     Based on the position of the real moon, he guessed he’d been gone long enough that someone might get worried about him soon. He’d better get back to the dorm before he had to deal with the inconvenience of heading off some kind of search party.

     He really hoped Magnus wasn’t going to apologize or anything dumb like that, because then he’d have to meet him halfway, and he just wasn’t in the mood to accept blame of any kind, no matter how sorry he might have been deep down. Surely they’d worked together closely enough that this kind of thing could go unspoken, at least for right now.

     As he opened the door, Magnus was just tidying the last few things that had been knocked over by Taako’s furious parting Thunderwave. For a moment he froze, wooden duck in hand, and stared like he couldn’t believe Taako existed, or that he’d come back.

     He tapped a finger on his chin for a few seconds, and then cast a spell to clear away the remaining dust and rubble. They shared a half-smile, half-shrug and it wasn’t that all was forgiven exactly, but they could live with each other and themselves.

     “Why do you pretend to be stupider than you are?” Magnus mumbled, almost like he didn’t know he was going to say anything of the sort.

     It was another one of those questions with no real answer, or rather too _many_  things he could say in response. Some answers were truer than others, some were outright denials, some were flippant nonsense, but none were what he really wanted to put out there in the world.

     His ears drooped and he hugged his arms to himself. But he could tell Magnus wasn’t trying to start another fight – he just really wanted to know. The man cared about other people far more than Taako could fathom, and it could get annoying, but after they’d just made nice he deserved something real.

     “Li– _listen_ –” He fully intended to admit he didn’t know why he acted the way he did, but what came out instead was, “I know you are, but what am I?”

     He stammered to go back and correct himself, but Magnus was already nodding along. “Right, okay,” he said, even gruffer than usual, and that was all the warning he got before he was swept up in a tremendous rib-crushing hug. The tension that never went away _did_  ease a little bit, and he didn’t know how Magnus knew that was what he needed before he did. Or maybe he just liked hugs.

     Taako wriggled his arms from where they’d been pinned against his chest so he could return the hug. “Whoa there, are you crying?”

     “…Maybe.” Magnus sniffled. “Why, you got a problem with that?”

     “As long as you did it first, then absolutely _not_. Healthy release of emotions is rad, my man.” Their whole existence was one hundred percent a joke, but he took it seriously enough to cry his way through it, and that felt _good_.


End file.
